Your Love is Strong.

Sometimes life is too much to handle. It surrounds you, making you feel claustrophobic, asphyxiated.
Its presence envelops you, and disables you from thinking clearly, or releasing your thoughts in a coherent manner. So you hold in your emotions until they leak out through your eyes, or sometimes through your throat in guttural screams of frustration.

Life is, as Marty McFly would say, heavy. It sits on you, right on your chest, making your heart and lungs work harder than they should, and making it difficult to move because of the extra weight. It pushes you down continually, and the second you feel the load lighten, it comes at you again with another shove.

Humans are weak, brittle things. That's why even taking one step forward is so hard with life clinging on to you like it does. We can barely hold ourselves up as it is, so when life climbs up for a ride, it's all we can do to walk. We often have to resort to a crawl, because our legs just won't hold the weight. And occasionally someone else's life decides to join in. At this point, we become almost helpless. We try desperately to be strong enough to carry them both, but it's just too hard. It's just too heavy. Our frail bodies can't do it.

So sometimes when life gets too heavy, we just lie down and take in shallow breaths, our eyes closed, our arms at our sides. And we just lie there. Not moving, barely breathing.
Praying for someone stronger to come along and take some of the weight. Or better yet, pick us up, life and all, and carry us. We feel a little selfish wishing for that. It's not fair for someone else to take on our weight and all that we're carrying. It will be so heavy. It may not even be possible. Our feeble imaginations can not even begin to hope that we can find someone that strong. It would be too incredible.
But sometimes, that's all we want.

It's all we need.

Try

I don't want to be one of those bloggers that's just complainy all the time. But I also want to be an honest blogger.

I don't like the word "try". It isn't synonymous with "succeed". It's also not synonymous with "fail", which is good, I suppose, but all that really means is that "try" is a fuzzy word. In the present tense, it is unclear. In the future tense, it is unclear.
And in the past tense, I find it to often be negative.

I don't like when people say "You tried your best." Because that simply means, "You went for it - and failed." I don't like when people start out a story by saying that someone tried to do something, either. For example, "My daughter tried out for the volleyball team last week." That is so open. There's a 50/50 chance that the following sentence will be "And she didn't make it." Or, "I tried starting a band in high school." What do you think will follow that? "And it worked out and now I'm in a Grammy-winning rock band that brings in tons of money and huge crowds, spreads our message, and is currently on our fifth world tour."? That's highly unlikely. What's more likely is: "That never happened though. That's why I'm working this crappy part-time job while I try to finish school."

I also don't like "try" in the present tense. When you ask someone if they'll hang out with you tomorrow, and they say "I'll try," that often means they're busy, or they don't really want to, and they just didn't want to say no. Or, "I'm trying to write this paper." That means, "I'm not writing this paper, I just have the book open and a blank Word document on my screen with my name at the top."

I use the word all the time. It's a very common word. And I've never put too much thought into it, but upon reviewing the word, I realize it just isn't one that I'm very fond of.

I guess, I'm just tired of trying. It's not a bad thing to try - it's good in fact. Risk-taking is good. Dream-chasing is good. Going for it is good. Failing just hurts.

This isn't really a conclusive post, I'm aware, it's just a thought that decided to run through my mind currently. So, I figured I'd put into words what I was thinking - or at least, I'd try.